sarahcentric

I am writing a book. Please note obligatory photo of local cafe from this past weekend’s writing session.

Now I’ve mentioned this before here, but this time it’s different. I am not just thinking about writing a book, or talking about writing a book, or reading a book that’s about writing a book. I am actually writing the book. I finally realized that Barnes & Noble can’t sell a completed outline made up of pink post-its on a cork board. Too hard to carry on the subway for the commute.

Is there a title? Yes.
Is it a memoir? Of course.
Will you tell the story of calling Larry King Live in high school and talking to Alan Dershowitz because of some strange pre-occupation you had with the movie Reversal of Fortune. Ummmm… maybe. It’s pretty embarrassing.

More details to follow, I promise. But right now, let’s just discuss my writing process; AKA “Sarah goes crazy.”

First of all, I am definitely one of those chumps sitting in the cafe for 97 hours straight. As much as I hate being one of those people, getting out of the house to work makes it feels just like that-work. It’s no longer my great contribution to the Kingdom of God that will shift society’s perspective and if that really is the case how can I possibly write it?! This is the kind of build up and stake raising that my brain and I must avoid at all costs. And that is very difficult when my brain and I are left to our own devices at home.

Communitea in Long Island City was homebase this weekend. Lots of folks being busy, busy, busy; writing their own stuff, talking about last night’s dates, taking practice GMAT tests. We were all alone together, drinking delicious lattes and eating just ok chocolate scones. (Mine was served in a big soup bowl, p.s. Why?!) Another plus of being surrounded by other busy bees is that I procrastinate a lot less. Of course, I have to build some procrastination into the writing schedule. As soon as I sit down, I check the time and give myself 20 minutes to do whatever I want. 20 minutes to obsess over why Communitea would serve a scone in a bowl, have a random memory of one of my favorite Looney Tunes character Witch Hazel, and text all of my friends and family about it to see if they loved her, too.

Once the 20 minutes are up, it’s time to get down to business. I can’t write any first drafts on a computer for some reason. A blank computer screen is very intimidating for me and the goal at this point is to avoid as much of the bad, overly critical mind as possible. Although, it’s impossible to get rid of it completely. Impossible! And if it’s a memoir, please..forget about it! The self-doubt can be paralyzing. But here’s how I work through it.

I’ve done a few cool and kinda big things in my life. Nothing insane, but stuff that took time, effort, and work. I lost 60 lbs. I ran the New York City marathon. I traveled through Australia on my own. Great accomplishments, sure. Now I can look back and see that those were brave things to do. But when I was in the middle of counting points on Weight Watchers, at mile 16 in Queens, or checking in at the Qantas counter, I felt like an insane lunatic who could puke from the nerves and stress at any moment, (literally, in the case of the marathon.) The point is you don’t feel brave while you are being brave. And that is a part of the process. The sooner you can accept that this part just sucks, the sooner you’ll move forward.

So there is one last thing I do before I start writing. I have a custom playlist for writing on my ipod these days. Great, fun, agro songs helped me get through all of the marathon training. Why shouldn’t that apply to my book? I’ve got Mary J. Blige on there and some Johnny Cash. But right before my 20 minutes of procrastination is up, I always listen to Jay-Z “Dirt Off Your Shoulders”. If I really believe that everyone goes through this self-doubt, that means even Jay-z stresses his next record. Yet somehow he knows-he knows -that’s he’s going to kill it in the end. Hello?! Of course he is! He’s Jay-Z!

And I’m Sarah Jackson.
I’m bi-racial. I’m from upstate NY. I run marathons. I love Witch Hazel.

Ladies is pimps, too.