sarahcentric

Just got back from a three-month mass wedding starring the most important people in my life.

It started back in July with a black dress and a blow-out for Kim’s New York City wedding. I killed an hour between my hair appointment and the ceremony in Central Park at Vynyl. They were blasting “Invisible Touch” by Genesis, making it one of the three songs I must have when I am stranded on a desert island.

After the ceremony, my friend Lesley had two brilliant ideas. One, take the bus downtown to the rooftop reception. And two, take a picture of half of the Comedy Central On-air promo department on its way to said reception.

Kim was a busy, social, and beautiful bride. But I made sure she took time to get my favorite back to back pose. It’s really important, you guys.

Kim and her husband went to Italy.
I went to Australia.

…then my brother got married.

But not until he and the groomsmen took this picture.

…And of course this picture.

I performed at the wedding with my sister and nieces. We rehearsed non-stop to “Blame it on the Boogie” by the Jackson 5, my second song for the deserted island playlist.

Before I knew it, I was in a rental car with Beth on our way to a college friend’s classic upstate wedding. Beth and I were not best-ies, but I knew she was cool when I found Debarge’s Greatest Hits in her CD collection. If you don’t like Debarge, you can’t stay on my desert island. Because “I Like It” is now number three on my stranded playlist. Plus, I’m supposed to be stranded so…

An upstate wedding means the loudest, funniest, best wedding table ever. Old rivalries between the different New York Staters come up quickly. The Rochester natives get all up in your face about how Wegmans supermarkets are the only supermarkets worth visiting. I reply as I have always for the 12 years that I have known these people: “Look, Wegmans is FINE, but it’s just a freaking supermarket! You guys are just weird about it!” It is literally impossible to count how many times the Western New Yorkers and the Further Down New Yorkers have had this argument. Major beef. Think Nas and Jay-z.

Then Brendan and I got back to back.

I got into my pajamas as soon as possible to drinks Labatt’s and play Uno. The LONGEST game of Uno…ever. In fact, I think the fabric of space and time was seriously disturbed creating a parallel universe where Bizarro versions of my friends and I are still trying to wrap this game up.

Sarah: Uno!
Friend: umm…
Group: oh noooo!
Friend: Sorry, it’s the only yellow I have. Draw Two.
Group: DAMMIT!

Somehow we escaped Uno purgatory and I fell asleep. A little bit. Kinda. That really light sleep that’s just enough for a quick shower in the morning without washing your hair, and gets you through the wedding breakfast. I sent a text to Lesley and thanked her for letting me borrow some dresses for this last wedding. I called my sister to tell her that they played 50 Cent the night before. And I made Beth stop at Stewart’s for the best ice cream Upstate NY has to offer.

If I was stranded on a desert island, I would invite my friends and family. I would throw my own mega-wedding with the best that each one of the weddings I was honored to attend had to offer. Wegmans would cater and my brothers would play at the cocktail hour. But the DJ would not take any requests.

He would play the same three songs.
Over and over.