Wait!
Before you walk out the door, lock it, then realize you forgot your iPod and head back to get it, leave again, realize you left the keys by your laptop, curse, run back in for the keys and finally head out…just wanted to update you on some goings-on here. Goings-on…or Going-onS? Whatever, we don’t have much time!
1) I have a major crush on Joe Scarborough from MSNBC’s excellent morning show “Morning Joe”. Joe is hilarious, moderately Republican (which oddly gives him a weird bad-boy quality) and has a ton of hair. I don’t have much faith that we would work in a long-term relationship, but there would most certainly be great frenching. It would be like dating Alex P. Keaton from “Family Ties”.
2) The butter on my toast tasted weird. Like, really weird. Gross. I thought it was scientifically impossible for butter to not be the most delicious thing on earth. Therefore I have to assume that my butter supply has been compromised, tainted. Someone is obviously trying to poison me. Call the police.
3) I’ve been waking up a little earlier these days to get some work done on the first draft of my book. I’m going to go into greater detail on this whole process very soon, promise. However, I thought you should know now that part of my research this morning involved screening of clips from the 80s cartoon “Jem”. Amazing, inspiring, awesome, love it. And last night, I read more of the new book “Sailing Home: Using Homer’s Odyssey to Navigate Life’s Perils and Pitfalls
Sooooo, how do Jem and the Buddha fit together? Yeah, umm..I don’t know why or how just yet. But at this part of the writing, I really feel like they do. Now, it’s still early and this could all get scrapped in revisions. That leaves us with one of two possible scenarios as to how this could end.
Scenario 1
You: Oh Sarah, can you sign this copy of your book?
Me: Sure, of course..thank you so much for reading!
You: No prob. Hahaha, remember when you were going to put Jem in your book?
You: SHHHHH! Shut up, shut up right now! We don’t speak of that anymore!
Scenario 2
Charlie Rose: Sarah, your book is a huge success. Thank you so much for joining me here today.
Me: Of course, Charlie. It’s a pleasure.
Charlie Rose: Let’s just get right to it. Pop sensation Jem plays a major role in this book.
Me: Yes. She was a great inspiration to me as a child.
Charlie Rose: And part of the proceeds from your book are going directly to Jem’s favorite charity, The Starlight Foundation.
Me: Mmm, hmmm..
Charlie Rose: So you know what I have to ask you…
Me: Oh Charlie, not you too!
Charlie Rose: I gotta do it, Sarah. Are Jem and Jerrica Benton one in the same?
Me: Charlie, I really don’t know.
Charlie Rose: Ok, Ok. And do you have any information on something called Synergy?
Me: “a holographic computer designed to be the ultimate visual entertainment synthesizer built by her father, who left it to her on his death.”?
Charlie: Yes.
Me: Ummmm, no.
I can’t promise you that Jem will make the cut the final draft of my book. But let’s pray to God she does because that second scenario is too excellent.
Alright. That’s it.
Go lose your keys.
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2 Comments
Funny! I’ll have to check out Joe. I wonder if he will replace Jon Stewart as the man I’d most like to tongue behind my husband’s back? Speaking of my husband, he tainted our entire butter supply with garlic. I don’t know how he did it, and don’t get me wrong. I love garlic–usually. Just not on my English muffin at 9 am. And speaking of Jem and Jon Stewart: Jon made three appearances in the first draft of my memoir but, alas, in the end, I had to cut him for space. Good luck with the writing!
Jem is truly outrageous and I loved her! But… Barbie and the Rockers had an amazing purple tour bus that was called “the Hot Rockin’ Van”. I it got for Chirstmas one year and would practically ride it down the street to my friend’s house.