sarahcentric

Where have you been?! Were there apple cider donuts there?! Did you have to amputate?!

Alright, hold up hold up hold up! There is a perfectly good explanation for my absence-an explanation that will not only give you a deeper look into my complicated soul, but is also perfect for the upcoming holiday.

You guys…I’m a Ghost.

Not like Jacob Marley Patrick Swayze (RIP), or Casper. “The Ghost” is a very specific psychological personality type that you may never have known the name for, but I am positive that you have encountered. Basically, The Ghost is the friend in your social circle who takes off from a major party or event without any warning or a polite goodbye. Here’s a quick way to identify your Ghost, a typical conversation between friends of a Ghost…

Two people at what is objectively the best party of the year.
Person 1: Hey, hey! Where the hell is Brett?
Person 2: Pffff, please…he took off!”

Persons 1 and 2 have been haunted by Brett, The Ghost. Like Brett, I too take off. Sarahcentric readers, you were haunted by me for a whole week.

Why do I do it? Why do we, The Ghosts, do it? I have no idea. I recognize that it’s a totally d–k thing to do. My friends usually kick off the holiday parties with this speech, “Sarah!! If you’re going to leave just tell us!” Since I’m pretty sure I black out before I make my paranormal exits, I can’t tell you exactly what it is that makes me go back on my promise. No one else has been there to witness my disappearance and tell me what brought it on. My friend Andrew, one of the most skilled Ghosts I’ve ever met, was exposed one New Year’s Eve. Mutual friends of our were searching for him, when one looked up just in time to see him literally running RUNNING down 44th Street in Manhattan. He got away, but the jig was up. Andrew was forever the friend who officially “takes off”.

So why did I Ghost out on this blog all week? I don’t know. Did anything awesome happen while I was away? I remember bits and pieces.

1) My youngest brother Aaron, (pictured above with the best family cat to ever exist, Casper), turned 25 last week. A happy, happy Birthday to the Golden Child!

2) I fell asleep on my couch one night, (please, I have no idea why), and woke up to a PBS doc on TV and heard this, “I can’t imagine a world without lizards!” Umm…ok…

3) Last night, I had a dream I was in Australia wearing a fantastic purple dress that this annoying waitress kept spilling blue paint all over.

So there you have it, a glimpse into the other plane where we, The Ghosts, exist. Another dimension where clumsy waitresses rule, is chock full of lizards, and Casper can be both a cat and a ghost.

Spooky.