sarahcentric

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted, and I owe you lots of laptop snuggle time. So move over and make some room! I have so many sweet somethings to whisper into your ear…

First of all, the polls are closed. Many thanks to those of you who voted early on Proposition Curly or Straight. After careful consideration of both sides, I have decided that the same ol’ hair politics is not going to work. This partisan wrangling over which hairstyle best sums up my personality does us no good! The curls are there for me when it rains, and my straight hair shines when it’s sunny. My hair is at its best when it reaches across the racial divide with the shared vision and common purpose my white mother and black father had the audacity to dream for me.

There is not just curly hair!

There is not just straight hair!

There is only SARAH’S HAIR! (Cue Stevie Wonder’s “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” Crowd rises to its feet, tears streaming down their faces. )

In other news, I don’t think I need a brain transplant anymore.

I also went ahead and canceled my appointment with the mad scientist who was willing to put me into a Deep Sleep with specific instructions to be revived if, and ONLY if, the world was fully prepared to treat me as a freakishly sensitive, empathetic being. My every thought, word and action would receive oracle-like consideration. I was soooo close to becoming a Precog from the movie, “Minority Report”, you don’t even know!

For those of you who suffer from the season-change blues, do not freak out. I am happy to report there is hope! Lobotomies, transplants, or mutations into a being who can see into the future are not necessary. All you need is to get back into your Maximum Comfort zone. Fall into Fall, if you will. This is no time to be a pussy when it comes to making yourself as comfy as possible. Whatever makes you feel good, multiply it by a thousand. I lost sight of that as the days were getting shorter this year. But I’ve rediscovered my Northeastern roots and got my groove back. It takes some time and effort to build yourself a fall cocoon. But trust me, it’s well worth it. Here are some tips to get started on building a solid foundation.

1) Get a hat.

The only authorized sellers of Maximum Comfort knit caps are 90s-style hippies who dropped out of college to travel with a craft fair. They only sell hats, scarves, wind chimes, candles, homemade soap and fresh-cut Christmas trees. It should be a treasured possession along the lines of your childhood security blanket, teddy bear, or cloth diaper with a soft fringe which you permanently held to your nostril.

Or was that…just…me? Aaaaaanyway…

Take my hat for example. (Special thanks to my photographer-friend Donna who took this photo for nothing more than a chai latte.) I didn’t go subtle and stylish. I went Match-y freaking Match-y. The red rose is such an over-top-accent to the red winter coat that the ensemble takes on an almost costume-like quality. In fact, I could jump right into the role of Roxy Hart in a national tour of “Chicago” if necessary.

Once the temperature drops below 60 degrees that hat is glued to my head. I have worn it all match-y with the red coat and clash-y with a yellow vest. I’ve worn it for 5 days straight at a New Year’s meditation retreat in Upstate NY where the dormitory accommodations had no heat or running water. A carefully selected Maximum Comfort hat will be with you in good times and in bad. So choose wisely!

2) Buy a book.

In the hot summer, it’s all about finding as much space as possible to feel the breeze and take some deep breaths. So we head to the beach, praying that the group of loud teenagers who likes to play frisbee about 17 inches away from you every freaking summer is taking this one day off. Then we are free to claim our towel-sized section on the sand, drinking in all of that sun, salty air and possibility.

Maximum Comfort, Autumn-Style is the complete opposite. The Fall is about jamming and locking yourself into the tightest, coziest corner of your couch, (or if you’re really lucky a chair-and-a-half…ughh, if you have one I am so jealous of you!). You’re looking to feel locked up in a nest of comfort; fully stocked with your cell phone, treats, socks (in case it gets cold) and the nerdiest entertainment ever, a good book.

I heartily recommend my good friend Maura Madden’s charming and hilarious first book, Crafternoon: A Guide to Getting Artsy and Crafty with Your Friends All Year Long

If you and your friends dream about going back to those childhood days when you were all cute and crafty with glue, sparkles, scissors and clay, Maura shows you how. By the time you have freed yourself from the cozy corner of your couch, Maura will have taught you how to plan and host your very own Crafternoon party suitable for any month of the year. I am soooo not a crafter, but there I was at Maura’s Christmas Crafternoon last year looking for black yarn to make hair for my ballerina clothes pin ornament.

Crafternoon parties and Maura’s book with its tips, recipes and stories is the stuff upon which Maximum Comfort dreams are made.

3) Make everything cozy… even your coffee.

Look …I’m not f–ing around here. You should see by this point that nothing escapes the Maximum Comfort transformation in the Fall, even my morning coffee. One might argue that the 3rd degree burn of a hot cup on a cold morning is comforting enough. But what if you took it to the next level and wrapped your coffee in the cutest, green-est cozy there is?! Well, that’s not comfort to the max. That kind of comfort is just straight up gangsta!

My friend Kim sells her handmade coffee cozies at her Etsy shop, The Doe and The Mouse. Not only are they ridiculously practical and versatile, (reversible and magical in their ability to fit every coffee cup), her wide selection of fabrics guarantees that every person looking to make their hot beverages even more comfy has the opportunity to do so. There are delicate, feminine cozies with swirls, polka dots and flowers. There are assertive, male cozies made of recycled men’s suits and lined with plaid. The cozies even get a little outrageous and unisex with scenes of Russian Dolls, Day of the Dead skulls, and everyone’s favorite, Robots.

It was so hard for me to choose my Fall cozy. But in the interest of taking match-y match-y to the next level, I really had no choice but to go for the Little Red Riding Hood scene. Are you kidding me?! How freaking cute is that thing?! Does it not remind you of those amazing picture books by Richard Scary? I am telling you, my chai latte with Malaysian Coconut Cupcake from Sweet Revenge is delicious. But with Little Red as company, it’s basically a party.

4) And for God’s sake, bake something!

I would hope that it goes without saying how crucial home-baked goodness is to this process. There is nothing like the taste, smell and feel of a super-sweet dessert made with your own two hands to bliss out and drop in to your Maximum Comfort zone. Some of my happiest, fuzziest memories begin with two sticks of butter sitting on a window sill. Those two little guys were always the start of one of my Mom’s homemade chocolate chip cookies; so good they forever ruined the experience of a sawdusty Chips Ahoy! cookie. (Not that I won’t eat them, mind you! But it just ain’t the same.)

I’m all growns-up now and I can bake for myself and anyone else lucky enough to get in my way. In fact, I whipped up these lil’ suckers from a recipe on Joy the Baker’s excellent blog last night. They were ridiculously delicious, simple and made my apartment smell like Pumpkin Pie for two days straight. And I didn’t even need to wrestle with a homemade crust!

My only suggestion for tackling a new recipe is to go through the list of ingredients and directions carefully, making personal notes based on your flaws as a baker and human being. For example, after the name of the recipe, Pumpkin Pie Bars, I would make a quick note like this…
Sarah, do not make this recipe until Sunday night when you can get them out of your apartment and to your office as quickly as possible. You and I both know that you’ll eat the entire pan yourself if left unchecked.

When the recipe calls for something like Pumpkin Pie Spice I could note…
Sarah, oh my god, you HAVE pumpkin pie spice! You have easily spent over $100,000 on pumpkin pie spice because every fall you assume you don’t have any.

When I get nervous because the recipe calls for something unusual like Butterscotch chips I could write…
Sarah, just because you swallowed an old-school butterscotch candy whole when you were in kindergarten and it gave you a stomachache does not mean you HATE butterscotch!

I’ll tell you what, the only thing that could have made these bars even more delicious was an extra handful of those butterscotch chips. See how helpful notes in the margin can be!

Remember that guy I told you about? The one on the subway platform who screamed over and over, “I WANT PUMPKIN PIE!!” Well, that guy is getting wiser and wiser the farther I fall back into my Fall Maximum Comfort Zone. Now is the time to demand, at the very top of your lungs, some old-fashioned peace and comfort; just after the summer humidity ends and the frantic, freezing holiday season begins. There isn’t much time left! Get crackin’ on this required list of Fall necessities. And please, please, please, PLEASE… comment away with YOUR required list of Fall comfort. There is not much room in my cozy corner of the couch, and I want to be sure I get all of your suggestions in before it’s too late!