sarahcentric

Andrew rarely considers his friends before making extremely selfish life decisions.

My former best friend, (his title has changed as a result of his selfish behavior), signed a 100 year contract to work on a cruise which takes him everywhere-from Central America to Hawaii to the Pacific Northwest to the house where they shot “The Goonies”. As a result, mailboxes all over Queens are stuffed with postcards documenting Andrew’s Great Adventure. Here are some of the highlights…

Sarah,
I’m in Mexico…so touristy. I have been offered baby dresses, ponchos, cowboy hats and catamaran tours. I’ll pick up a few baby dresses, but that’s it!!

Sarah,
This card depicts a popular Hawaiian pasttime, “surf riding”. I know, because I am here at Waikiki Beach. Do I feel bad? No. I’m thinking about you and getting very excited about your Australia trip!

(The postcard of polar bears cuddling)
Sarah,
I figure I would sneak in from behind, stretch my arms out, and hug all of them. That way you could snap a quick picture just before they all turn on me. Please let me know if you have any ideas or input. By the way, Australia called and your trip is canceled. Sorry, I guess you’ll want to come cruise Alaska. I understand. I accept your apology. And I guess it’s ok. Just let know when.

Sarah,
I like these weird birds. I hope you do, too.

Sarah,
This picture does not do justice to how bad it smells here.

Sarah,
I am having the best coffee of my life and torturing this poor waitress with my bad Spanish. I think I ordered ice cream, but we’ll see!

Andrew. Come Home.
We need to work this polar bear photo shoot out face to face.