sarahcentric

Get ready for some sweet apple on crust action! But first make sure you enter my Tim Tam Slam Giveaway. Only 3 1/2 more days for a chance to win two boxes of Australia’s famous Tim Tams and a pound of my favorite Graham Cracker Coffee.

Man, that coffee would be soooooo delicious with some pie…

Some weekend work, lack of funds, and all-around Cranky Pants kept me apartment-bound this weekend. Cranky Pants turned into Cranky Coma when I realized I had watched two very different movies back to back; last year’s Academy award nominated Revolutionary Road and the 1989 classic, The Wizard starring Fred Savage as the protective older brother of a disabled boy who can play a mean Super Mario 3 and Ninja Gaiden. One movie was very good and the other was very bad.

Oh please, Revolutionary Road should have been over in 10 minutes!
“Hey honey, since we’re so unbelievably miserable, I was thinking we should switch it up a little. I did some rough estimates and I think we could live in Paris forever. I’ll work. You hang out, until like, whenever. Problem solved.”
“Ooo, good idea.”
“Haha, you’re welcome.”
(Leo and Kate kiss. Credits roll over shots of the family frolicking in front of the Eiffel Tower.)

When I am this level of cranky, the only thing that can pull me back down to earth is some serious baking. Brownies and cookies are my default setting. But I needed a recipe that required concentration and offered some challenge and risk. Now where was that Pie book?

This cookbook is freaking awesome. The recipes are infinite. The pictures are nyomnyom. Ken Haedrich does not pull any pie punches. How many cooking shows have I watched where people effortlessly roll out their crusts which could not only cover their fruit fillings, but double as new curtains for their living room or a throw for the den? Pie crust is tricky business, and Ken totally acknowledges that, giving you a thousand tips and options to make your pie dreams come true. For example, he recommends rolling your crust out on wax paper because it’s way easier to transfer to the plate. This is 100 times easier for me than the rolling on to the pin and then on to the plate method.

Pie takes practice. Cranky Pants days like today are the perfect opportunity. I decided to get back in the pie game with one of my favorite recipes from this book, a tangy, spicy, boozy apple pie filling with a cheddar cheese crust.

Ok, unless you are from New England you are probably freaking out about the cheddar cheese. But trust me, it won’t taste like Cheez-its. The cup of cheddar in the crust just adds an awesome creamy saltiness to counter the fruit party inside. It’s pretty subtle and and makes your house smell like a cabin in Vermont during a snowstorm. “Sarah, you have never been in a Vermont cabin during a snowstorm!”

Whatever, just do it.

Liz Reiter’s All-Granny Slug-O-Bourbon Spiced Apple Pie
from Pie, 300 Tried and True Recipes for Delicious Homeade Pie by Ken Haedrich
(I am so not a food writer, so if there are any details you feel are missing I highly recommend buying the book.)

The Crust

2 3/4 cup all purpose flour
1 cup finely shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/4 inch pieces
1/2 cup cold vegetable shortening, cut into pieces
1/2 cup cold water

The Filling

4 large or 3 extra large Granny Smith apples, peeled cored, and cut into chunks
3/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
pinch of salt
Slug of bourbon (a “one-two” count)
3 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

Garnish

Sugar

First the crust. (I made mine by hand, meaning I used the cutting fat into dry ingredients with two knives method, then combined the liquid dry ingredients together with a fork. You could certainly do this with a food processor or electric mixer, whatever your preferred pie method may be. The order of operations remains the same.)

Combine flour, sugar, and salt in a large bowl. Toss well, by hand, to mix. Scatter the butter over the dry ingredients and toss to mix. Cut or rub the butter into the flour until it is broken into pieces the size of small peas. Add shortening and continue to cut until all of the fat is cut into small pieces. Sprinkle half of the water over the mixture. Toss well with a fork to dampen the mixture. Add remaining water,
1 1/2 to 2 tablespoons at a time, and continue to toss and mix, pulling the mixture up from the bottom of the bowl on the upstroke and gently pressing down on the downstroke. You may need a bit more water until the pastry can be packed.

Using your hands, pack the pastry into 2 balls like a snowball. Make one ball slightly larger than the other. That’s your bottom crust. Knead each ball just a little, then flatten the balls in to 3/4 inch disks. Wraps the disks in plastic and refrigerate for at least an hour or overnight before rolling.

While your dough disks chill, peel over one thousand apples-oh wait, there are only 4. It feels like a thousand when your peeler dates back to the Civil War.

Combine your peeled, cut, and cubed apples with the sugar, flour, spices and salt. Mix like crazy and set aside for 15 minutes.

Count your bourbon shot out into one of your souvenir shot glasses that will definitely make you a billionaire someday. Throw that into the apple mix. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees Farenheit.

Roll out your larger dough snowball for the bottom crust on a lightly floured piece of wax paper. If you are Catholic, now is the time to say a novena to St. Teresa, the patron saint of lost causes. Please please, PLEASE, let me get this thing into the plate. One, two, three..BANSAI!!!

Oh thank you, God…Buddha…Jah. Thank you thank you thank you! Chill your bottom crust in the fridge as you do the same thing to the other dough snowball for the top crust. Once your second pastry is ready to go, take the shell out and fill that sucker up with your delicious, bourbon’y filling. Tuck those wittew app-ews in with your rolled out top crust. Awwww, cute!

Be sure to lightly moisten the rim of the bottom crust before you cover it over with your top layer. Then go around and press the two crusts together with your fingers. With a paring knife or scissors, trim the excess so that the crust is flush with the plates edge. Grab a fork and crimp the edge so that everything is sealed good and shut. Poke several vents for steam and juice, including a few at the edge so you can check the juice as it bakes. Sprinkle sugar all over top of pie.

Throw it in the oven on the center rack for 30 minutes at 400. After 30 minutes, turn the oven down to 350 and turn the pie 180 degrees so that was at the back of the oven is now facing you. Bake for another 30 minutes, or until the crust is golden brown and any juices bubble thickly through the steam vents.

See!! I did it!! Oh, you can’t see?

Well, I’m slightly embarrassed because my crust turned black at the edges within 10 minutes. Apparently, my oven was built in the fires of Mordor. But it doesn’t matter. My apartment smells like heaven, I am at least 60% less cranky than I was after Revolutionary Road, and I will be the most popular girl in the office tomorrow.