sarahcentric

February finally found me and smoked me out of my happy place.

I was doing so well!! Maybe it was the bonus birthday sun in Miami. Perhaps it was Phil, Conan and their funny accents ordering bagels in New York City? Something scrambled February’s evil instruments designed to make me feel like a robot, a depressed robot (the worst kind), every single year. For the first February on record, I was a fully engaged and happy human being!

It was fun while it lasted.

I’ve got two recipes for you today. The first is my own secret recipe for emotional disaster.

Preheat your apartment to 495 degrees farenheit because your apartment’s radiators are totally beyond your control. Take a healthy fear of Lake Erie-sized black ice patches that keep you locked indoors.  Add obsessive, cranky thinking that you can’t escape because your brain is layered in hats and scarves. Mix in a self-imposed austerity budget in order to save for a big vacation in the summer…

Voila! You’ve got a fresh batch of February Blues; a bland, uninspired, yet pathetically manageable level of depression.

Kinda tastes like sawdust…or pencils.

My second recipe was born from the first recipe’s leftovers. Turn February’s frugality and house arrest into an opportunity to search your cabinets for some baking inspiration. Take a minute to realize that the black ice has melted in the 40 degree weather, and that you have a few extra bucks to run out for some cashews and Ghiradelli chocolate chips. Add the leftover coconut from a few lazy Sundays ago to make your sweltering apartment feel more tropical and less tenement building…

Voila! Bikini Blondies!

The sawdust/pencil complaint is one I often have of the typical Blondie. Why people waste their precious splurge calories on uber-floury, barely sweet bars of Blaahhhh-ndies on the hunt for the three chalk-y chocolate chips is beyond me.

Do not think for a second that these “Bikini Blondies” are meant to get you bathing suit ready. Please, these things are like doorstops from all of the butter, sugar, and fixins. The name is an homage to the Sugardaddy Bakery’s secret Tahitian Blondie recipe that I’ve heard so much about, but have never sampled. Fellow better-Blondie lovers have posted their best guesses at that recipe all over the internet. My recipe below (I guess it’s my recipe, right?) comes from what looked good about those and what’s great about my very favorite baked goods. Browned butter to make the bars denser, nuttier, chewier. (Thanks Cooks Illustrated!) Instant espresso for some more depth. (Thanks Martha!) And a controversial sprinkling of salt. (Thanks Smitten Kitchen!) I’ve also followed in Sugardaddy’s footsteps by cutting the Blondies out with a biscuit cutter so as to avoid hard edges. Well…a wine glass actually, because I don’t have a biscuit cutter. Don’t worry, I saved the edges for all of my co-workers who like their Blondies with right angles.

These will not get you into a bikini, but feel free to bake them in your tenement apartment wearing a bikini. We only have one week of February to go. You may as well be ready the instant the black ice cracks and you can head to the beach.

You may want also want to work out in your bikini…just so you’re totally ready.

Bikini Blondies
inspired by Sugar Daddy’s Tahitian Blondies

1 1/2 cup unbleached flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 teaspoon Kosher salt
1 1/2 cup light brown sugar
3/4 cup butter
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla
2 teaspoons instant espresso
1 1/2 cup shredded coconut
1 cup cashews, chopped
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chunks
extra coconut, chocolate and cashews (optional, for topping)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F, butter a a 9 x 13 baking pan and line with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt and set aside.

Brown butter in stainless steel pan, then pour into a large mixing bowl to cool to room temperature..a few minutes. Add brown sugar and combine with whisk. Once combined, allow butter and sugar to sit for 10 minutes. Whisk in eggs one at a time vigorously until mixture is glossy. Add vanilla and instant espresso and mix well with a spoon. Take the flour mixture and fold into wet ingredients until just combined. Do not over mix.

Fold in coconut, cashews, chocolates into batter. Try not to over mix. Pour batter into prepared baking pan and smooth out with a spatula or spoon. Top with extra coconut, chocolate and cashews (optional, but highly recommended. I also sprinkled the top lightly with some more salt. This is a SWEET recipe. A sprinkling of salt on top brings everything out).

Bake for about 25-30 minutes, or until top light golder brown on the top. Do not over bake! Edges should be dry and the center soft. Cool to room temperature before cutting…in squares, circles, whatever takes you away from February.