Oh what a feeling, Staring at the Ceiling!

I’m a douche.

I’m kinda sorry that I haven’t been writing more regularly, but honestly I’m really not. I would have said douche-y things.

Don’t worry, I am fine. Really. It’s just that my whole world has turned upside down in the past two weeks, bringing on major e-motion sickness. My only relief has been to listening to “The Rainbow Connection” while staring at my apartment ceiling after re-organizing all of my books.

Totally normal.

There was no huge boulder of a life changing event, just those little life pebbles that are always the beginning of an emotional avalanche. Huge project at work, pebble. Big family announcement, rock. Good friend leaving my office, stone. No good jeans for my trip to Australia…boulder, boulder, BOULDER!!

What is happening?! What am I doing?! Who am I?! Who are you?! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together…MASS HYSTERIA!!

Staring at a fixed point on my ceiling seems to have settled my heart down a bit. I remembered something the very awesome Sylvia Boorstein says about change, “We must meet each moment of life with friendliness”. This is very difficult, of course, when the moments are huge a–holes. But what if my life was not a problem? An experience that I didn’t have to attack every time it changes up on me? Change should be a total given like the creek in my hometown. The water levels can be high or low. There could even be a thousand toy ducks floating down as part of the Rotary’s local Duck Derby for charity. Of course the Duck Derby is totally weird, but we don’t question it. The creek just flows on.

That’s how I’m coping right now, anyway. Also, pizza really helps.

To make up for my blog douche-i-ness, I will be giving away one of my favorite books ev-ah; The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz. I re-read it during this past darkness, and I want to pass it on to someone else now that I have seen the light. You’re going hump it, so good. Just comment on this blog entry, and comment only once please. The Random Number Generator gets very mad. Comment close next Wednesday 5/20 at noon.

Not a problem, not a problem.

This entry was posted on May 13, 2009 at 5:57 am, filed under buddhism and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Comments are closed, but you can leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

15 Comments

  1. Carolyn
    Posted May 13, 2009 at 6:16 am | Permalink

    I know just how you feel… which is why I should get the book. ;) XO

  2. soul-fusion
    Posted May 13, 2009 at 6:49 am | Permalink

    you described that feeling so perfectly with the small pebbles resulting in the avalanche. Would love the book!

  3. Dixie
    Posted May 13, 2009 at 8:56 am | Permalink

    I think I need to read this book.
    southrngal(at)gmail(dot)com

  4. Julie M
    Posted May 13, 2009 at 10:54 am | Permalink

    wow, springtime seems to bring avalanches for lots of people. myself included. first step to recovery: stop calling yourself a douche….

  5. @CuriousDina
    Posted May 13, 2009 at 12:57 pm | Permalink

    You know sometimes the universe is good.

    Feeling cranky today because I’m impatient for change. You helped me realize that I want my blog and my book to be growing faster and I’m not sure how to do that. And, I want that to change now. Hence, cranky. Thanks for the insight.

    Dina

  6. Elizabeth Ditty
    Posted May 14, 2009 at 5:48 am | Permalink

    I didn’t know if I was allowed to enter or not since I won the fabulous graham cracker coffee. But I’ve really been wanting to read this book. So, here I am!

    And you know, some days you just need to stare at the ceiling and warble a song or two for a while. (And is there anything more therapeutic than reorganizing books and DVDs?)

  7. Andrea
    Posted May 14, 2009 at 5:23 pm | Permalink

    I love this book! I borrowed my copy from the library - it would be great to have one to own!

    Also, I’ve been feeling like staring at a spot in the ceiling too…it helps relax the mind…at least that’s what I tell myself!

  8. Mike G
    Posted May 15, 2009 at 7:29 am | Permalink

    Hey Sarah,

    As an avid fan of comics and of Sarahcentric, I would love to throw my metaphorical hat in the ring and try to scam, I mean, win this book from you.

  9. Karen
    Posted May 15, 2009 at 2:16 pm | Permalink

    Ooh, that’s on my Wish List! Hope I win!

  10. Imabeliever
    Posted May 15, 2009 at 2:31 pm | Permalink

    I just finished eating an entire 10-inch pizza! I think I should be rewarded, for my effort, with a good book! What do you think?
    Before you answer…it was the whole pizza, including the crust, which was kinda burnt around the edges. Come to think of it, that pizza blew! I need to find a better pizza joint. BUT, I’ll settle for a free book! :-)

  11. Joy the Baker
    Posted May 15, 2009 at 7:55 pm | Permalink

    i want to hump it. gimme?

  12. Naja Hayward
    Posted May 16, 2009 at 6:14 am | Permalink

    Never wanted to hump a book before.

    This has got to be good.

    Glad you’re back in full force!

    Naja

  13. Heather Holden
    Posted May 18, 2009 at 9:30 pm | Permalink

    I am fascinated. E-mail me more book titles. I love to read as therapy.

  14. alexis
    Posted May 19, 2009 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    i just ate 3 pieces of 2 day old pizza and am officially caught under a boulder. i may use my swiss army knife to cut off my hand.

  15. Melisa
    Posted May 20, 2009 at 6:16 am | Permalink

    Emotional Avalanche. It’s reassuring to find the right words, isn’t it? Tiff and I are actually experts on Emotional Avalanches (which, incidentally, are often in tandem with Emotional Blackmail).

    Anyway, I haven’t read that fine book yet…