Yesterday, I posted an open letter to my friend Andrew which called into question his use of the slang expression “wicked”. The Andrew campaign has responded swiftly and forcefully!
N.B. This is all a joke, people. Yes, Andrew and I are fighting about whether or not he always said “wicked”. But we have also fought about whether or not it’s better to be killed by a lion than tiger based on animal-cuteness factor. You can find transcripts from that very important conversation right here.
But right now, Andrew’s got a little something to say.
Dearest Sarah,
You are wicked lame. We could not have known each other for 12 years because that would make me old like you. Don’t blame your Chinese slippers on me. You AND your cat had it coming, (I still feel bad about that one). And let’s not forget who told you to grow your hair out. You’re welcome.
I have always said “wicked.” “Wicked” has been with me longer than you have, my friend. And you can bet your sweet, little a— I’ll be spinning’ yarns with that poignant and intangible adjective long after this friendship is over (ummm, see ya tomorrow).
To quickly counter your arguments…
1) So what?
2) Says you.
3) WICKED!
Let’s cut the B.S….face it Sarah! You don’t have the prunes to say, “wicked” because you know you couldn’t pull it off! It rolls off my tongue when I get to a party. Everyone around me thinks to himself, “This guy is Ohhh Kaay!” I strut into the next room in slow motion, snap my fingers into a point and shout, “This party is WICKED cool!” I spin around on my big toe and say, “Wicked awesome outfit.” I fake to the right, go left and give the thumbs-up, “This party is WICKED!”
I don’t blame you for not embracing “wicked.” You simply could not pull it off. Some of us are wicked awesome and some are not. I forgive you. I will continue to say “wicked.” I only hope that in time you will understand.
“Stinks” stinks.
Andrew
PS: Call me later.
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2 Comments
“Order UP!”
OK…
So, knowing you both, and having lived with Andrew for many years…(in NYC, we could’ve legally been considered “common-law wed”)I have heard the phrase “wicked” uttered now and again. I repeat NOW AND AGAIN…not like it was a part of his everyday vocab. He didn’t wake up every noon and say, “Evan, thanks for making this wicked good coffee…” or anything like that…but I do recall him at parties, but I never saw the grand entrances he speaks of, so I cannot comment on that use of “wicked”…
Personally, I hate “wicked”…unless used in a hilarious way…no one should say it if they’re serious…it’s awful…
Good stuff…
Evan