sarahcentric

Tomorrow is the big-ass day…The Great Graham Cracker Coffee Giveaway! You’ve got until tomorrow at 7:30p, after which time the comments section will be closed and we declare our winners! (”We”? Who’s “we”? My Marshmallow friends?) So get over to the giveaway entry and say your piece.

In other news, you’ll be happy to know that I am fully recovered from the Holiday Party Hangover. After dealing with the anonymous spoon, there were only a few more embarrassing, “wait, how old am I?” moments that I had to work through over the weekend.

-Handing the cashier at Jacques Torres the chocolate bar I was purchasing instead of the CASH required to complete said purchase. So please take a moment to picture this: I bring a chocolate bar to the register. She asks for 3 dollars. I nod, pick up the candy bar and I try to hand it to her…instead of the cash. We stare at each other for at least 7 seconds before I realize I’m crazy. “Ohhhh!! hahahehehe, sorry. Sorry!”

-A complete screening, from beginning to end, of “Revenge of the Nerds”. The comedic stylings of Wormser, Lamar and Booger were about all my brain could really handle at the time. I was laughing so hard I was crying, literally.

I am healed now! Some of the cure came from throwing myself into Operation: Christmas Cheer, which you will definitely hear about this week. But I had to break out the big guns to take me to the Promised Land; an old Jackson Family recipe that is so delicious, so decadent …that it’s almost kinda gross. I called my sister to find out who had the recipe. But before she would reveal the current Jackson guardian of the recipe she warned me in a text, “Don’t do it! You’ll regret it!” She reluctantly revealed the current keeper, my younger brother. She was right. I knew it when my brother told me the first ingredient on the list.

“Crisco.”
“Crisco?!”
“Yeah. TONS.”

Tomorrow I will pass this delicious and dangerous recipe on to you. Maybe if I tell the world it will dilute some of its power, freeing my family from its spell? Or perhaps it will enslave countless more individuals. That’s a risk I have to take.

Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for a breakfast so sinfully good, the evil Lord Sauron orders it every morning at his favorite diner in Mordor…

…Puffy French Toast.