A little advice: When you visit the shower stalls on the Manly Quarantine Station Ghost Tour, be sure to mind the 6 inch drainage gap between the stall wall and the floor. I received this advice myself from the tour guide. But if you’re anything like me, you’re not listening anyway because all you care about is which stall you’re most likely to have a supernatural encounter in. And if you are me, what you are is the American tourist who does not mind that gap and falls spectacularly into the stall. It was the loudest noise in the history of Australia and scared the living shit out of my fellow ghosthunters. My brother snapped this picture right when they realized it was me, “Oh Goddamit, Sarah..really?!”
We’ve moved into that post-production phase of vacation. My brother and sister are back in New York recovering from jetlag and sending the higher res photos I demand because I can’t stomach Facebook’s crap compression. Meanwhile, I’m waking up to notes from every single person we convinced to participate in our comedy shorts throughout the country, because normal people shoot scripted movies on vacation. And by “comedy” I mean a series of quick jokes that are so inside, a note saying, “We should add the Perfect Strangers theme song!” makes perfect sense.
Aaron and Bekah have used one word over and over to describe this trip to friends; epic. Going through all of this media in the quiet of a hotel room for my last few days in Australia, I couldn’t agree more. We have very different epic tales to tell, however.
Snorkeling on the Reef, the Great Ocean Road, Double Coat Tim Tams… their photos make up the classic first Aussie vacation which is a mind-blowing, jetlagged blast. Since I was just tagging along for the ride and skipping sights I had seen, my album is made up of all the people along the way who I had more time to spend on during this second trip to Oz. The first stop on my first trip was Port Douglas as it was this second time around..and will be on the third, fourth, and fifty-seventh trip to Australia. Now that I’m an obnoxious world traveler who calls her home country, “The States”, I can officially say that Port Douglas is one of my favorite places in the world.
Picture an Upstate NY or New England small town with a typical Main Street. Now imagine a marina with boats heading to the Great Barrier Reef at one end, and the Coral Sea with a gelato stand that sells the best flavor ever, Burnt Toffee, at the other. That is Port Douglas. And because I was on my second visit, I was able to spend some quality time in the middle of Main Street with the people who live, work, or just meander through there.
The number 1 person being Conan, the Mayor of Port Douglas. Not really… but really, he should be. I have never met anyone who is so up for anything and everything. When you get to town, text him and ask him out for coffee or a beer… or a bike ride or tango lessons… or a police car chase or nude modeling… or a sleepover party or salon day. His answer will always be the same, “Fuk yeah! Where are you?” No “C” in the F word ever. Probably because it takes too much time to type and Conan just wants to get down to business.
This is our third visit together and it was most definitely a charm. The longer you know Conan, the better the texts get. “Right..went to karaoke tonight and sang ‘If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher’ didn’t turn out as great as I thought. BULLSHIT, IT WAS AWESOME!” Or after my family left Port and I had a few extra days on my own, “Dinner party tonight at an unreal apartment. Get dressed up and bring your swimmies!”
No explanation as to why we were getting dressed up, what this party is for, whose place this is, or what the hell swimmies are. For Conan, these details don’t matter; it was simply happening now, and I just needed to be there.
…Because the views of the ocean and forest are unreal and the table was set beautifully.
And we didn’t go to jail for breaking and entering, because our friend Guy was actually living here for a few weeks before he moved to Melbourne and wanted to share the awesome space with his friends.
And I met French Canadian Nancy, who regularly uses the word “destiny” in conversation and was willing to walk home from the party with me because I was terrified of being attacked by a crocodile on my way down the hill.
And Chrissy from New Zealand, aka “Big Red”, was more than up for dancing to Arrested Development with me in the living room. I was on my own for “O.P.P.”, though.
Conan would say that all of my questions are proof that I worry too much. It’s difficult not to when he does stuff like arrange a party at your hotel room, and then sends five guests whom you have never met before in your life an hour before he arrives.
One of those guests is Jai, an artist who sells his excellent work at his own shop in Port Douglas. The minute he arrives he’s nicer, funnier, and cooler than anybody you have ever met. You want to marry him, or make him your maid of honor, or produce a television show all about him called, “Jai: The Musical”. He is a wonderful person, who told one of the best party stories I ever heard about dancing in clubs at Bali. There’s no way I could possibly do justice to it here, but suffice it to say I will never hear the song “I Know You Want Me” and not see Jai dancing in the middle of our room cracking us all up.
Once again, Conan was right.
Of all my people pictures, I hate and love this one the most. The lighting is crap and does not do the Port Douglas Crew justice. There are at least three other awesome people in that picture that I would love to introduce you to, but they just melt into the shadows. But I also love this picture because it was my last day at Port and Conan had arranged for everyone to meet for lunch. It’s crap because I set it up as quickly as possible, knowing I was going to take off early to avoid crying in front of everyone. I got the shot and cried anyway, hugging everybody and saying, “Ok Ok… love you guys.” That’s a Sarah term of endearment, reserved for only my absolute favorites in life. I hadn’t said it since I left New York and said goodbye to my family at Comedy Central, and here I was saying it in the middle of Port Douglas.
Jai took this picture in his shop when I popped in to say goodbye and I have a similar love/hate relationship with it. I could do without the crazy circles under my eyes which Conan caused by waking me up at 1 am after he was done with work just to hang out in the living room. And a shower would have been nice, but was pointless because I had get one last ocean swim in before leaving Port Douglas.
But I love it because I look more like myself than I have in a long time. I ain’t Halle Berry, but I look like I’m breezy and at home. A 20 plus hour flight away from a life I spent 10 years building back in New York, and I feel at home in a town with jellyfish warning signs.
It’s my connection to these people, Port Douglas, and Australia that is epic. I still have no idea why I feel so strongly about this place, but it doesn’t matter.
It’s simply happening, and I just need to be here.




























